Some people, luckily they are not many, undergo the same experience as Lilia did:
“I was upbrought in an environment characterized by love and affection. Everybody at my home loves me so much. I am loved everywhere I go; with friends, the grocery, the library, the club, the gym. Wherever I go, there is someone smiling to me. Of course, I am a beautiful lady, and maybe that is the cause of all of that. When I am with friends, everybody is giving me enough attention. I like it, actually.
Once I started my current training, I felt myself unwanted. People here just focus on their work. Sometimes they do not even salute me or say good bye. Sometimes they go to bring lunch to eat it in the office, without even asking me if I am hungry or I need something from outside. I really feel marginalized here.
To be frank, they do not make me overwork. They do not force me to do anything outside my orbit of knowledge. They design the tasks which I can do. This is not enough for me, though. I feel unable to work, due to the cold atmosphere.
Why is it that the office place is this emotionally cold? Why no feelings are here? Why are people so emotionless? Sometimes I feel myself in a military base. Almost no one smiles here. No jokes are being told around. Nobody looks happy.
This is driving me crazy. I really think of making an end to this training. I no longer feel myself as a human being here. I will leave.”
Lilia’s feelings are very clear in every expression. She is sad. She does not want to go on in the training, since she feels unwanted. This feeling is due to the behavior of her colleagues. Poor girl! She is seeking love and care in the work place. It is a deadly mistake that shakes the psychological power of fragile people.
She does not know that the places of love and intimacy are:
- The bedroom,
- On the Laps of parents,
- Between arms of lovely children,
- The kitchen with a mother or a beloved one,
- The bar with friends.
I never heard that the work place is a source of love. Respect does and has to exist, but love and care? How comes?
If Lilia used the absence of care and friendship as a reason to leave where she had been taking training in, I have another friend who underwent another sort of experience, which is of a more concentrated dose than what Lilia had been undergoing.
It was the first day of his training in that small company, whose staff was composed of two girls and the boss. Isaac took the interview in the presence of all of them. At first, he was not sure he would be called for the training, but less than a fortnight later, he received a positive email.
His happiness was enormous; especially that in his city it was hard to find a job, due to the international financial crisis at that time. He was asked to join them on the following day. Once he entered and signed the training contract, his happiness doubled. He was going to work with two beautiful girls in the same office.
He was a gentle man. That is why he easily got a place in the hearts of the girls. Gradually, he fell in love with one of them, and the problem is that the other girl started loving him, and here was the mistake he made.
Of course, a lot of problems were generated by this complex series of relationships. The two girls, who had been friends for a time, were having a man between them. The latter loves one of them, and at the same time he was loved by the other.
As time went by, the productivity of the whole team got worse. The boss started thinking of the causes of the issue. Of course all his monologues were around why is it that the two girls were working at a very high level, but when the guy joined them, his level did not improve, and that of the girls got lower and lower.
The boss, luckily, had a stay in the city. He had been absent most of the time prior to that. On his first day he remarked that a big sum of intimacy existed between the guy and one of the girls. The other girl did nothing but watching them in complete anger. The intelligence of the boss enabled him to decipher all the signs.
The rest of the story is not as important as the gist of it. Lilia and Isaac made the same mistake. They were in the office place trying to find someone to love. Love, affection, tenderness, intimacy, friendship, etc. are not the reasons why we go to work. The whole world is open to us to look for love. There is a whole planet for that. We are in the office to focus on our source of income and to take the company higher in the market.
When we look for love in the office place, we need to put in our minds that we might be doing the following, unconsciously:
- Losing focus on the job,
- Being controlled by our emotions,
- Having someone to control our actions, smiles and words,
- Being prevented from speaking freely,
- Bringing our conflicts with our beloved to work,
- Being more stressed at work.
You can imagine how the work days are going to be spent, if the one we fall in love with is super jealous. Believe me! It gets worse if we are super jealous too. When both of us go to the work place to seek love, and we are trainees, the hell’s doors might have been opened.